|Burnout. Photo from here.|
AH, who knows? The question of vocation is incredibly overwhelming! Why can't it just be easy: "I'm good at this, I could do this all day long so this is what I'll do"? But it's not like that.
What I love about writing is the inherent creativity, the sculpting of something special that people will read and enjoy.
What I hate about writing is the inherent creativity, and the days when it feels like the creative drive just isn't there.
Perhaps I am just burning myself out. I tend to load myself down with expectations: school, work, staying physically fit by getting enough time on my mountain bike, volunteering with the youth, and the constant strain of writing blog post after blog post. Not only am I striving to keep up my main blog, but I'm trying to develop this career-focused blog and another brand-new blog project on top of that.
There is a ton of pressure when you write. There's pressure to consistently turn out creative content, and to have that content be highly polished, entertaining and informative, and thereby being engaging. What happens when the quality slips? What happens when a post or an article just isn't as awesome as what I regularly write? Will my small piece of the internet come crashing down around me?
Burn out. Not enough sleep... and that's my fault. Relaxing and rejuvenating is not my strong point. Every since I was a kid, I would push myself endlessly until finally I'd just break down and have to spend 3-4 days doing nothing to recuperate. That is not a healthy cycle, and I need to break it... but breaking a habit is so hard!
I'm burning out... so this blog is going live without anything but a spell check.
Or maybe I just need more caffeine in the mornings....